Comments for Moment to Moment

Comment on Fortune before the Fortune Cookie by Tif

Tif — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 18:20:25 +0000

Girl i’ve spent it all the way down… and no job in sight … for the last 5 years i lived in a constant state of fear over money – and getting old w/out it – and no health care … but it was some much more important to my path and the spiritual awakening and awareness … which ironically as it turns out was about knowing and understanding the power of fear – and how much fear is ingrained in us from purgatory to judgment to being poor in a greedy world. As i transition into who I am w/out the fear controlling my being I let go of the motivations that steered my life before… and as windows and doors magically appear – i believe more and more in my faith in this path. Doubt lingers and it doesn’t take a second for a friend or mother to turn jubilation over a spiritual breakthrough into a money issue. But that is their living in the fear and doubt we are trying to escape. Over the last six months, i gave up my fancy status-symbol apartment finally, moving into a 1 bedroom apartment with my bf and 1 full-time 19 yr old dancer, and one other 14 year old dancer – who he sponsors in that little space. He sends money home to pay for his family’s apartment, buys himself almost nothing ever. I gave up the piano, and for a while Sam – my dog – as i felt it all ripped away from me – the only thing that kept me sane was knowing that i was on the path and that this was part of the process of relinguishing attachment. We finally – after a torturous search – found a new apart for $1195 right across from a huge natural-forest park IN Manhattan!!!?!?!!. I kept thinking: i need sam back – and room for her to run in a park, all for 1100. I put it out there, i kept looking. Time and time again fear attacked – but Giovanni held the ground – and i felt my resentment growing at him – and each time – it was a signal I had to regroup around my fear – instinct to grab at something just to have it – the relationship tearing apart – I HAD to go save myself. One day the fear was ragging in my heart, and at calmer moments, the doubt of the convictions that got me through the fear took over – the doubt … the opposite of faith …. so I followed the fear and doubt .. flowed it… to find its many sources. The most dramatic was the realization that I grew up in a state of constant fear – as the victim of child abuse by my older brother – who tortured me constantly. I know feel I have confronted the greatest source of my fear – of which i was clearly in denial – for our family had created a system of denial – of holding together false peace – my mother manipulating with the best of intentions to keep peace in the house hold between my older brother and everyone else. We lived in constant fear of his emotional abuse. That fear sent me to be a lawyer, have a big fancy apartment, take care of myself at all costs, never have a trusting relationship, being socially a wreck, and thinking money was the way out and salvation as my mother believed when she left us alone with him to go work. I now see her fear in every word she says – I used to chaffe at her “will this lead to a job” – or “you have to stop working for free” every time I did anything during this path – and now I see she is trapped in fear too. We all are. Fear not.

Comment on The “change” fallacy by Tif

Tif — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 18:02:57 +0000

Remember that song: “I AM CHANGING” – what’s her name… oh shit – lived in France the end of her life … black activist-singer … on the tip of my tongue … i’ll hit “send” so it’ll come to me

Comment on Why I missed World Suicide Awareness Day by David

David — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 14:14:40 +0000

I do not have your courage honey ! And I can not remember anything about what I was thinking when I was 12. You amaze me.

Comment on Why I missed World Suicide Awareness Day by mtmbloglife

mtmbloglife — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 17:05:36 +0000

Many thanks, Elena. Your words are beautiful and spot-on!

Comment on Why I missed World Suicide Awareness Day by elenapiedra

elenapiedra — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 16:50:48 +0000

Wow Will. This is a real story of courage, beautifully written and so moving. I am especially touched by the image of that twelve year old sitting on the bed, making a decision that would affect the rest of his life. What is so amazing is that you are now able to cut through those layers of illusion and make contact with that boy’s spirit and soul. he deserves compassion. And you can see that even as he decided to weave those layers to alleviate his loneliness, that true self still existed, with the ability to give your power back to you.

Comment on An Olympic pitch…IN Chicago, not just FOR Chicago by ct

ct — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 22:20:03 +0000

Must agree – I’m glad 2016 went somewhere else…just to show our President he doesn’t have the world at his fingertips. Perhaps now we can focus on health insurance reform (not healthcare – it’s available) and our men and women overseas. Let’s finish the job and get home.

Comment on An Olympic pitch…IN Chicago, not just FOR Chicago by Dorothy

Dorothy — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 16:00:04 +0000

Very well said. I couldn’t agree more.

Comment on Of fathers, sons, Michael Jackson and Farrah by mtmbloglife

mtmbloglife — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 14:28:18 +0000

thanks for the kind words, deborah. and much peace to you as you care for your parents…and your self!

Comment on Of fathers, sons, Michael Jackson and Farrah by deborahvsgoliath

deborahvsgoliath — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 07:45:19 +0000

I just wanted to say how much I enjoy your writting. I have both parents who are currently critically ill and it was refreshing to read what you had to write about your relationship with your father. You have a beautiful way with words.
Warmest regards
Deborah
http://deborahvsgoliath.wordpress.com/

Comment on My Dad’s final gifts by CT

CT — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 06:36:18 +0000

I’m overwhelmed…our “final lunches” came at the same time…tonight I sat looking at photos of the very memories you described. I logged on to write and ask if you wanted some of the pictures I had of you/us/family from years ago, only to find this text…you were there for me four months ago…I wish I could be with you. Your skills of sharing thoughts is amazing. Thank you for doing so!